Understanding Self Improvement - Vulnerability and Resistance

Over the years, based on my specific education, experience and service offerings, I tend to attract clients that have some common characteristics. Some of my clients are seeking simple wellness services such as massage & bodywork. Other clients come in for more in-depth services. This article discusses some ideas and concepts regarding clients who are seeking to make significant changes in their life and improve their situation and outcome.

When it comes to services such as counseling, psychotherapy, therapeutic hypnosis or treating trauma or sexual dysfunction issues, it is often challenging for a client to achieve and sustain their stated goals. In many cases, that is why a client has come to see me. Frequently, I see clients who have had an extended history of frustration, unhappiness, emotional stress, lack of satisfying life improvement or a past history of seeing many types of helping professionals. In some of these situations, we use Integrative Bodywork as a unique approach to make significant progress. (There is another blog article about Integrative Bodywork on the blog site.) In other situations we use a more traditional blend of services to provide assistance.

In either case, when a client says that they have long standing or unsatisfactory improvement, I have observed that there seems to be a common thread. In the counseling and psychotherapy field, there is a label that exists for the lack of a client's progress within the therapeutic process - resistance. I am not a big supporter of any type of "label."  But, "resistance" is a particularly distressing label. In the majority of professional literature and the helping professional's education, when a client is considered to be "resisting" - the focus of the work shifts. Resistance is seen as a somewhat active process where the client is viewed as the cause for the failure of the process. This concept suggests that it is because of this resistance that the client can not make or sustain the necessary changes or obtain the necessary "insight" required for them to achieve their goals. The "resistance" label can serve to take the counselor or therapist off-the-hook as a major factor in why things are not going as planned. 

My view of this process is different. I would like to replace the word "resistance" with the word "vulnerability." People, by the very nature of being human, are creatures of habit and routine. This is rooted in our biological need to survive. It is important for us to be able to predict where our shelter is, where we get our next meal, where we can obtain clothes, or how we can maintain safety. The need for predictability and routine is hardwired in us. Consistency is a survival mechanism.

Over time, even when things are not going the way we want - when we are stressed, when we are emotionally upset, anxious, depressed, sexually dysfunctional, or in a bad relationship; we may try to perpetuate that unhealthy norm. Regardless of the fact that we know things could be better or we need to make a change - the perceived discomfort of the unknown can cause a person to "resist" making obvious changes, or abandon progress toward improvement. I just used the word "resist" as a descriptive word - not as an active intention.

It is my opinion that many people or clients do not make or sustain, what appear to be obvious and obtainable improvements, because of actual or perceived vulnerability and not resistance. While this distinction might not seem like a big deal - I think it can be, and is, for many people. Accepting vulnerability as a roadblock to progress, rather than focusing on resistance, changes the whole approach to helping someone make improvements and achieve their goals. Rather than spending time addressing reasons why a person can't make changes, the focus shifts to understanding and exploring how a person can feel safe and understand what it means to change. When a person is having issues, change requires a step into the unknown. For some, even a very dysfunctional lifestyle is safe compared to the unknown. For some, even an abusive relationship is more comfortable than the unknown situation of  being alone or on one's own. For some, any change (EVEN POSITIVE CHANGE) that challenges their idiosyncratic norm, is seen as less desirable because making change is a step into the unknown. Change represents an exposure of vulnerabilities that challenge the here-and-now.

Exploring how someone can make changes is even more complicated if their emotional, physical or cognitive capabilities are already compromised by their current situation. In some cases, to one degree or another, successful and sustained change may require a person to re-invent their life and who they are. This could mean a change in geography, friends, activities, family associates, employment... all those potential changes lead to a potential increase of a sense of vulnerability. When this sense of vulnerability outweighs the need for change - there is a lessened motivation for making or sustaining change - aka "resistance."

I could go on and on - but I think you get the point. Regardless of how much people may want to make changes in their life, they need to learn how to make the changes. Knowing how to make changes requires addressing what life means after the changes occur.  Work that focuses on exploring what the future looks like, possible outcomes, addressing what-if scenarios, establishing self efficacy and hardiness all contribute to diminishing a sense of vulnerability to change. When vulnerability is reduced - progress occurs. For more information about Wishing Wellness - click here. 

Therapeutic Hypnosis - How Long Does It Take To Resolve Issues?

A question that I am frequently asked is: "How many therapeutic hypnosis sessions will it take to 'fix' my _____________?" (You can fill in the blank with any issue)

That is a perfectly reasonable question for which I don't have a good answer. I have seen many clients with a variety of simple or complex issues. Over the years, the only consistent factor that I've observed is that everyone is different. Some hypnosis practitioners, usually those in franchise settings, require an agreement or contract to do hypnosis work. They require a fixed number of sessions - usually 5 to 7 and the client pays up-front for the services. I am firmly against that type of model.

As much as I'd like to be all-knowing; I can't predict how quickly or slowly any given client will be able to learn to adjust and adapt to hypnosis and the therapeutic work. So, setting up a specific number of sessions in advance is counter-productive, both therapeutically and financially. I actually believe that for a licensed "healing arts professional," as I am, having a set session model is actually unethical. While what I am saying might seem off-putting for some clients, I'd like to provide this  information to help them make an informed decision.

While I can't predict how many sessions it might take for a client to address their issues fully, I can definitely say that almost every client I've seen has obtained some positive impact from their very first hypnosis session. In some cases, it is not uncommon to obtain significant relief from the client's presenting issues during the first session. But, there is no guarantee because there are many variables.

In dealing with phobias, anxiety, or traumatic stress, the first session or two may be focused on addressing an initial facilitating event(s). During these sessions, special techniques and methods are used to reduce the impact of the precipitating event (if there is one). After this event(s) is  addressed, the hypnosis can move on to provide general symptomatic relief and enhance coping strategies.

Addiction issues may require several sessions in order to develop better control over triggers and other stimulating events that lead to the addictive behaviors. Additionally, some hypnosis work is geared toward reducing the overall psychological and physiological impact of the addiction. Relapse prevention and relapse re-framing is also useful to address. It is important to keep in mind that any hypnosis addiction based work will require changes in the person's life to help minimize the opportunities to partake in the addictive behavior. Hypnosis, all by itself, is unlikely to override actions or behaviors taken by the client that encourage relapse or addictive behavior.

While eating disorders or food management issues have good results with hypnosis, it is almost always prudent to expect at least four sessions to obtain good results. The reason for this is because there is an effective and specific need to address several aspects of the eating management problem. All four of these areas need to have some attention in order to solidify the overall hypnosis work.

There are a variety of other reasons clients come for hypnosis, but the ones I just reviewed are the typical ones that have some consistency and pattern to the process. While any given client may have widely variable symptoms and issues, there is typically some commonality to how the therapeutic hypnosis process progresses and that gives some predictability to outcome and results.

Lastly, as the picture chosen for this article attempts to portray, the unconscious mind is a playground of connections and symbols. Anyone can be hypnotized to some degree or another. In contrast to what most people think, the more a person desires to be in control, the easier it can be to hypnotize them. The hypnosis leverages the strength of their focus and control to allow the unconscious mind to enter into the hypnotic trance - which is where the work is done.

Because of these variables, I do not require or encourage an expectation for a certain number of sessions. If the client's results are evident and improvement is being made, then the client has the option to continue. On the other hand, if a client feels that hypnosis is not working for them, they are not locked into a contract or financial agreement. They are free to stop hypnosis ad try other forms of therapy or assistance.

Enhanced relaxation, memory reconstruction, age regression, anxiety, phobias, addictions, eating management.... a wide variety of activities and issues can be facilitated with therapeutic hypnosis work. When other methods or attempts have failed, hypnosis is likely to succeed or allow for a more rapid resolution.  For more information about Wishing Wellness and therapeutic hypnosis services, click here.