What Happens Naturally

I walked across the street from the office this morning - I was impressed by what I saw. I thought I would share the picture that I took. Apparently even nature can appear to have conflicting moods; appearing calm on the surface, yet something very strong brewing at the same time. I imagine, as you also probably know, this could be the same for people at times. The interesting thing is, nature is, what it is. A raw form of energy, pure, powerful and inherently self-sustaining. Here long before us and certainly here after we leave. Apparently it is a natural state for Nature (capital "N" here intended) to co-exist with contrasts and diversity. It just happens - naturally. Often, when people encounter what appear to be conflicting energies, emotions, or thoughts, they frequently struggle to resist the dichotomy or confusion. Singularity or simplicity of purpose seems to be a human goal. I felt encouraged after seeing what I saw this morning. Learning from a perfect teacher - Nature; I may choose to look deeper into what I try to simplify and sort out. Maybe strangeness, diversity, complexity, struggle, even chaos, are simply experiences that I need to perceive and accept - Naturally.

Sex Therapy - The Hidden Factor to Many Relationship Issues

Over the last several months I have had several couples approach me for "couples" or "marriage therapy." Sometimes the issues that they present are the common ones, such as: money, discipline of the children, differences in how things should be done, differences in expectations....  In a few of the situations, the issues have been more subtle. It seemed that when one issue was resolved, a new issue cropped up. The couples and I felt like we were trying to hit a moving target.

Over the years, I have learned that when the content of an issue changes, but the interpersonal processes remain the same, the root cause of the issue has yet to be addressed. After some good work on the part of the clients, a common description was provided by these couples - "We get along OK. It seems like we can be good friends, but when it comes to actual or expected intimacy, that is when things start to get difficult." Often times, the intimacy did not appear to be the issue, but after some digging, the intimacy issues were the factor that led to the other arguments or issues. In some of the more significant situations, this led to mental abuse, infidelity, distancing in the relationship by substituting intimacy with pornography or other like substitutes. The other "issues" seemed like they were the issue - but they were not the primary thing that was making the couples feel raw, or angry, or insecure.

In more than a few of the situations, it turned out that one of the partners had a past history of sexual abuse. Upon further conversation and therapy, due to the abuse or some other factor, intimacy, as expressed via sexuality, was not a desirable or comfortable place for that person to be. In several cases, the person either had issues achieving orgasm (anorgasmia) or general relationship based arousal. This can then either lead to avoidance of sexual activity, or participating sexually, but not really enjoying one's self. In either situation, the other partner picks up on the lack of desirable participation and that sets off the cycle of "relationship issues."

Most people would agree, the difference between "really good friends" and "couples" is the sexual intimacy. For couples to feel as though they are really "couples," as opposed to friends or roommates, reciprocal, mutually satisfying sexuality is a key component.

Emotional sexual dysfunction (as opposed to physiologically based dysfunction) can be helped with counseling and psychotherapy. Therapeutic hypnosis can be a great tool to use in helping people overcome issues with sexual functioning. Sexual intimacy in the context of a "couples" relationship is a very important part to a full and fulfilling, mutually satisfying, relationship. Enjoying life and experiencing it to its fullest should be a part of our wonderful existence.

Although sexual desire, functioning and intimacy are extremely personal topics, seeking help and achieving your personal goals in your relationship is important. You may be surprised as to how different things can be. People deserve to celebrate life, themselves, and their relationships to the fullest.    

Sacred Lomi - Why?

Some clients have asked for additional information regarding the Sacred Lomi bodywork session. I am including information here that was previously published in an article that I wrote. Before we get to that info - I am often asked why I choose to offer Sacred Lomi and why I feel it is such a powerful session. I do not assume that everyone will respond to a Sacred Lomi in the same way. For some clients, it is just a nice, long, relaxing session. For other clients, it is much more.

Getting out of one's mind and simply experiencing the here and now has a very powerful effect. The process and nature of a Sacred Lomi is designed to enhance a sense of a journey, right of passage, or rebirth. For many clients, either bodywork or counseling based, the Sacred Lomi is a physical method to feel emotionally or mentally renewed. It is a non-verbal, holistic way to integrate physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of ourselves. That was the intent of the Hawaiian Shamans when they brought Sacred Lomi to their people.

Here is the previously published info:

In preparation for the session, it is recommended that the client not eat or drink for at least an hour prior to the bodywork.  Recipients are asked to not wear any perfume, cologne or other strong body scents.  All jewelry will need to be removed including any body piercing jewelry.  Legs, arms and faces that are shaved regularly should be recently shaved so that minimal stubble is present.  No make-up should be worn.  Hair will need to be up so that no hair is able to fall onto the neck or shoulders (we have new scrunchies for each client).  Ideally, the body should be recently showered and clean so that the oil flows smoothly on the skin.  After receiving Sacred Lomi, water should be consumed in significant amounts to help clear and cleanse the body.

This massage is performed while lying directly on the warm massage table, with no bottom sheet, allowing the therapist to perform certain underbody flowing strokes and techniques.  The room is kept very warm to keep the client comfortable.  Often the therapist will breathe audibly to help sustain energy and assist in developing the proper intention.  Generally, there is no conversation between the client and therapist which allows the client and therapist to focus on the intention of the session.  A liberal amount of oil is used.  As is standard with any type of bodywork, the recipient will dress and undress in privacy, and while getting on and off the table, a draping sheet is used.

This is a very beautiful and caring style of massage and the process is, at a minimum, fully relaxing.  Some find it to be personally uplifting and insightful.  Sacred Lomi is best performed with minimal draping based on the client’s comfort level.  The client’s comfort level is the primary consideration.  If the client is not comfortable – then there really is no purpose in providing the massage.  Modifications of the recommended Sacred Lomi draping method are possible, but any modifications will prevent the ability to perform certain strokes, movements and session closing process.  It is necessary that no undergarments be worn – if underwear is worn it is very likely that it will be damaged from oil staining.  During the actual massage, the preferred draping method uses a towel that will always be covering the gluteal cleavage and genital area.  The genital area is never exposed.  As an alternative option, the full draping sheet can be folded down and used for covering the genital area / gluteal cleavage but it will need to be folded to a fairly thin strip positioned between the legs. 

It is recommended that no breast draping be used.  If breast draping is used, it consists of a towel folded into a strip and placed over the breasts; it is folded up at the sides so that the sides of the upper body are accessible. Most people experiencing a Sacred Lomi session choose the option to not have any breast draping.  This choice allows for a much more complete session and utilization of several very beneficial traditional strokes and clear access to the sternum area (the Heart Chakra). 

The preferred leg placement is also different in this style of massage.  Optimal placement positions the legs so that the feet are at the edge of each side of the table.  This allows access for a variety of leg strokes and techniques.  Legs can be placed more center-line to the table, but this limits the effectiveness of the strokes and may prevent certain strokes from being utilized.  Regardless of leg placement, the genital area is never exposed or touched.  The client’s draping choices will be held in the strictest confidence and will need to be indicated on an informed consent before the session begins.

As with many holistic sessions, some people may experience emotional releases during this type of session. This is perfectly normal if it were to occur.  It is suggested to not suppress any emotion and just let it surface; be fully present, let go of worries or concerns.  I believe this is why some people find the session personally uplifting and spiritual in nature - almost cathartic.  The session will continue to progress even if emotional releases occur - of course, if you need a moment to yourself; let the practitioner know and they will respect your wishes. Generally, it’s best to just let the massage unfold on its own.

Will therapeutic hypnosis work for__________?

I have been getting a lot of calls asking about the effectiveness and applicability of hypnosis for a variety of issues. Generally speaking, therapeutic (or clinical) hypnosis is simply a tool that can be used for a variety of issues or targeted goals. A simple answer is - hypnosis can help almost anything with almost any type of an issue or goal. That is a pretty broad statement. But, if increased focus or attention, relaxation, mindfulness, insight, or clarity can help with an issue - then hypnosis can help with the issue. Based on the therapeutic goals of the client hypnosis can help a person achieve    those goals quicker and easier in almost all cases.

Almost everyone can by hypnotized to some degree. The state of hypnosis is not static. When a client is in a hypnotic state, they move in and out of that state. Sometimes very deep, sometimes not as deep. This variation is understandably different between different people, but it is also a variation that occurs within the same person; even within the same session. Just as your conscious awareness changes, so does your subconscious awareness shift.

Even people who are less prone to go into deep hypnotic states can, and do, learn to go deeper and quicker over time, just like any other learned skill. Additionally, the depth of hypnosis is not necessarily related to the success of hypnosis. Often times, the subtle state between awareness and subconscious is a very powerful time for hypnotic work to take effect.

I will address another question: "Can you do hypnosis on my _____ year old son or daughter?" in an upcoming post. 

See our web site link for more information about hypnosis.

Wishing Wellness Update and Remodel

We have recently updated our location and the feedback from clients is very positive. Here is a picture of the massage and bodywork area.

We are trying to get the look and feel that we had at our Sycamore, IL location. That was a very beautiful and special place. It can never be replicated, but we are trying for the same type of ambiance and energy. We hope our current and future clients will like the new space.