When it comes to services such as counseling, psychotherapy, therapeutic hypnosis or treating trauma or sexual dysfunction issues, it is often challenging for a client to achieve and sustain their stated goals. In many cases, that is why a client has come to see me. Frequently, I see clients who have had an extended history of frustration, unhappiness, emotional stress, lack of satisfying life improvement or a past history of seeing many types of helping professionals. In some of these situations, we use Integrative Bodywork as a unique approach to make significant progress. (There is another blog article about Integrative Bodywork on the blog site.) In other situations we use a more traditional blend of services to provide assistance.
In either case, when a client says that they have long standing or unsatisfactory improvement, I have observed that there seems to be a common thread. In the counseling and psychotherapy field, there is a label that exists for the lack of a client's progress within the therapeutic process - resistance. I am not a big supporter of any type of "label." But, "resistance" is a particularly distressing label. In the majority of professional literature and the helping professional's education, when a client is considered to be "resisting" - the focus of the work shifts. Resistance is seen as a somewhat active process where the client is viewed as the cause for the failure of the process. This concept suggests that it is because of this resistance that the client can not make or sustain the necessary changes or obtain the necessary "insight" required for them to achieve their goals. The "resistance" label can serve to take the counselor or therapist off-the-hook as a major factor in why things are not going as planned.
My view of this process is different. I would like to replace the word "resistance" with the word "vulnerability." People, by the very nature of being human, are creatures of habit and routine. This is rooted in our biological need to survive. It is important for us to be able to predict where our shelter is, where we get our next meal, where we can obtain clothes, or how we can maintain safety. The need for predictability and routine is hardwired in us. Consistency is a survival mechanism.
Over time, even when things are not going the way we want - when we are stressed, when we are emotionally upset, anxious, depressed, sexually dysfunctional, or in a bad relationship; we may try to perpetuate that unhealthy norm. Regardless of the fact that we know things could be better or we need to make a change - the perceived discomfort of the unknown can cause a person to "resist" making obvious changes, or abandon progress toward improvement. I just used the word "resist" as a descriptive word - not as an active intention.
It is my opinion that many people or clients do not make or sustain, what appear to be obvious and obtainable improvements, because of actual or perceived vulnerability and not resistance. While this distinction might not seem like a big deal - I think it can be, and is, for many people. Accepting vulnerability as a roadblock to progress, rather than focusing on resistance, changes the whole approach to helping someone make improvements and achieve their goals. Rather than spending time addressing reasons why a person can't make changes, the focus shifts to understanding and exploring how a person can feel safe and understand what it means to change. When a person is having issues, change requires a step into the unknown. For some, even a very dysfunctional lifestyle is safe compared to the unknown. For some, even an abusive relationship is more comfortable than the unknown situation of being alone or on one's own. For some, any change (EVEN POSITIVE CHANGE) that challenges their idiosyncratic norm, is seen as less desirable because making change is a step into the unknown. Change represents an exposure of vulnerabilities that challenge the here-and-now.
Exploring how someone can make changes is even more complicated if their emotional, physical or cognitive capabilities are already compromised by their current situation. In some cases, to one degree or another, successful and sustained change may require a person to re-invent their life and who they are. This could mean a change in geography, friends, activities, family associates, employment... all those potential changes lead to a potential increase of a sense of vulnerability. When this sense of vulnerability outweighs the need for change - there is a lessened motivation for making or sustaining change - aka "resistance."
I could go on and on - but I think you get the point. Regardless of how much people may want to make changes in their life, they need to learn how to make the changes. Knowing how to make changes requires addressing what life means after the changes occur. Work that focuses on exploring what the future looks like, possible outcomes, addressing what-if scenarios, establishing self efficacy and hardiness all contribute to diminishing a sense of vulnerability to change. When vulnerability is reduced - progress occurs. For more information about Wishing Wellness - click here.
